I am waiting for the landscaper to get back with me on a quote for my yard. He is going to level space for the walking labyrinth I am going to build and document. However, to do that work, I am going to have to release the idea I carry of perfection.
For me, there is this idea that in order to be considered “good” at something, I need to make it flawless…it needs to be perfect. The truth I am trying to remind myself of, is that perfect and flawless are not synonymous. Perfect and flawed is a thing.
This idea of perfect <—> flawless is, I think, common. Deep down, I know that there isn’t a connection, but in my mind I hold it very dear.
So, in early December, I asked my husband to get me one of those watercolor subscription boxes for Christmas.
He listened and he got it for me! I love it, but I am also very intimidated by it.
I mean, honestly, look at it. I am supposed to be a beginner and paint holiday ornaments, a snow globe, penguins, and a fir tree? And do it well?
I have played with watercolors before, but seriously, this doesn’t seem very “beginner!”
Inside the box lid it says, “You are good at this!” Um…is that supposed to make this less intimidating? You and I both know that I am not going to be good at this.
On 12/29 I finally got up the courage to paint. I started with the first one in the kit, the holiday ornaments. The kit doesn’t just give you the supplies, it also provides a link to a video so you can follow along.
When I turned on the video, I was shocked, the first thing the instructor did was ask us to be kind to ourselves, to just have fun, to just enjoy the painting.
I sat, I followed along, and I painted.
My painting, certainly isn’t flawless. I can point out where I had too much water, where I messed up the color, where my pencil marks were too heavy. But I can also appreciate that for a first attempt, this is pretty good, great actually, and I did have fun doing it.
On 1/2, I tried this one again (the kit has enough supplies for 2 attempts of the same piece). I liked my first attempt better.
Now, I will move on to the snow globe…
All the time, trying to remember that this is all about the journey, finding perfection in the flaws, and releasing my inner creativity. I am doing this, only for me. No one else has to agree that it is perfect.
Engineering Wholeness 